I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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