We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
