i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
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I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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