Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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