last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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