I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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