Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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