My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
