After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
