My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
