Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize