My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
