I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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