apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
