Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
