What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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