guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
