What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
