We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
