Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
