After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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