Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
