im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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