as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
