i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
