I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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