Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
