Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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