Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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