actually, I'm a sock model
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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