but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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