I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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