Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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