I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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