i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
