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• (516): View more from New York

  I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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• (516): View more from New York

  Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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• (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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• (360): View more from Washington

  It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.

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• (631): View more from New York

  She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for caring about my cervix.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.

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• (650): View more from California

  I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.

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