Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.