doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
