YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person