Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
