life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
