sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
