i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize