I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
