The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We talked him into tasing himself.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?