oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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