Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
