...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think my vagina is haunted
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
