Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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