It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where is the hickey?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize