I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
