I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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