i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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