They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
