the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
