When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
