On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
