dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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