I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
