got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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